p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
