I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
