I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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