it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
