I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
