Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
