I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
