the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
