one might say we're banned from that church
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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