Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Say something about gay babies.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
