I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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