that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have demons in me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
