my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
