not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
