She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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