This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
