does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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