So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
