the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
