soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
