Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
