i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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