So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
