Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
