everyone is single if you try hard enough
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
