Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
