just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
