come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
