you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
