Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
