Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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