I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
