He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
