I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
