My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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