i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Houston, we have a squirter
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
