bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He has the fingertips of a God
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