just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
