You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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