omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
