margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
