so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
