They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
