Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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