That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
