the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I touched a dick in church today
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
