it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
