Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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