Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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