NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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