went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
